MixTogether & Friends

I have to declare an interest at the start of this post… I voted for Shiva Sound System to win best alternative act at the UK Asian Music Awards. Members of their collective have been very supportive to MixTogether since its inception, and they represent a truly punk alternative to the traditional Asian lifestyle.

That said, it is encouraging to see that Natasha Khan picked up the Alternative award. From the point of view of many couples on MixTogether who will have mixed race children, it is good to know that there can be space for them alongside the more traditional desi culture that forms most of the AMAs.

Shiva Sound System’s productions are streets ahead of the budget laptop beats that go with a lot of desi music (and that includes Imran Khan). However Bat For Lashes have the kind of production that a record contract and a dedicated studio team can bring, and the AMAs seem to have been mostly about rewarding mainstream success: Jay Sean scooped 4 after cracking the States, and Nihal got one for his Radio 1 show. The notable exception was Kayper not winning best DJ, but those of us who’ve been there since ‘Bridge and Bar Rumba dayz know she’s the rani.

It’s also nice to see that MixTogether favourites the Grewal Family were invited.

They presented the Best International Album award to  Miss Pooja, whose rrrrruffneck Riverdance-meets-gangster-Jatt love anthem ‘Romantic Jatt’ is a bit of a guilty favourite on my Ipod (there’s nothing rrrromantic about guns or the caste system really).

The Grewals are a Jatt family, and the mixed-caste relationship between Shay and Sunny was the principal reason her family abandoned her on her wedding day. Many MixTogether members have suffered the same kind of abandonment, and it is encouraging for them to see that happiness, success and love can flourish even after one’s own family have turned their back.

The Grewals’  continued celebrity is a testament to the genius of Channel 4 in screening their story.  If the BBC Asian Network could come up with something even half as compelling to highlight problems like disownment, they might have a stronger case to make for staying national.

Despite some shambolic moments (if the live Tweets are to be believed) it seems like the AMAs were a success. Let’s hope that they will continue to give room to less traditionally Asian artists and celebrities.  It might seem incidental, but it’s important.

For anyone who has been following Channnel 4′s The Family, tonight was the moment we have all been waiting for: the wedding.

Sunny and Shay from The Family

Shay looked so beautiful, and she was surrounded with the care that we have come to expect from the Grewal family. Her cousin and extended family who did attend and help (giving her a house to leave from for the Doli) showed their good character for all to see.

It is easy for viewers like us to stand in judgement on Shay’s mum and brother, but we are just observers. The only thing we can say with confidence is that Shay’s mum and brother missed out on a magical, once-in-a-lifetime chance to see Shay at her happiest and most elegant.

The loss was theirs, but that didn’t make it any easier to see Shay’s tears. The whole family on both sides would have welcomed them even at the last minute. It was truly tragic to see all the secret hopes- of the family AND the viewers- dashed on the day.

It was an especially poignant episode for all MixTogether members. We know too many people, our friends on the site and others, who have experienced this bitter and pointless loss of close family relationships.

The cultural system that convinces some parents to put the opinions of others over their relationships with their own flesh and blood MUST be challenged. It cannot go on in this country.

We would like to pay tribute to Granada, Channel 4 and the whole production team on The Family for their vision and courage in creating this series and bringing these issues to light.

Most of all we would also like to send our best wishes to all of the Grewal family, from the youngest to the oldest, and thank them for what they have given us.