Nesrine Malik: pressure to marry may border on abuse.
Writing on Comment Is Free today, Nesrine Malik makes a number of incisive observations about the grey area that exists just outside the illegal practices that constitute forced marriage.
The recent marriage of an alleged centenarian to a 17-year-old girl in Somalia is one manifestation of this philosophy. Adolescent girls are frequently married to older men in the Horn of Africa and parts of Sudan.
According to reports, the bride in this case was not forced into the marriage but was convinced of her husband’s love. “I didn’t force her,” he is quoted as saying, “but used my experience to convince her.”
In situations where the opinion of the family bears heavily on the bride’s decision, it is impossible to fathom whether this is actually true. If there was any compliance at all on her part, it was probably stoked by her suitor’s social status, his standing in the community and her family’s encouragement.
…in a culture where… the balance of power is skewed to the advantage of the man, there comes a point when an inordinate age gap may border on abuse due to a woman’s inability to make a pressure-free choice, even when that pressure is not explicitly applied.
This is a logic familiar to MixTogether members, and many survivors of unhappy marriages that were never forced in the legal sense but were nevertheless bullied and coerced out of the bride or groom.
It is the grey area just beneath the surface of forced marriage, and it affects far more young people than the occasional news headlines would have you believe.

